Diary Of A Dope-Ass Spartan

Sometimes life happens, things go wrong and you just feel like you're suffocating, you don't know where to go or who to turn to. You think if you go to your friends they'll judge you and you don't want to get on your knees and talk to the big guy up there because you don't know if he'll keep forgiving you, stupid as it may sound. Everything happens for a reason I always say but what if we have the power to stop some of the things that happen, what if we have the power to stop ourselves from having that kind of regret. Everything does happen for a reason and God does not give us obstacles we cannot handle. Regret is a wasted emotion, you can't take back your mistake so might as well make the best of it. I think we should all look on the bright side, there is always a light at the end of every dark tunnel. Praying helps and if it's not okay then it's not the end! God will never abandon you in your hour of need, when that little voice in your hea...

I know I've talked about this before but I don't care I will keep talking till it stops. This is just a rant so stay with me aha. So someone called me ugly and fat today and I'm not going to lie if it was back in the day I would probably have been offended. Now it just makes me angry. It's people like you that make me ashamed of being a woman sometimes. I mean I'm nineteen and you're twenty-three what business do you have comparing us two? You might be older but I am probably a better person than you will ever be. Please help me understand here, what is your definition of pretty? Did calling me ugly make you any prettier? Did calling me fat make you any skinnier? After saying that to me how did it make you feel? Are you happy with yourself now? I feel nothing but sadness for people like you. I mean just because someone does not fit a certain image of what they should be in your mind does not mean they should be that image. We all have different definitions...

Sometimes i miss my girls but God they can be annoying at times. We skype every week and half the time the conversations are about their boyfriends. Now i'm not that bitter single friend that I'm sure we all have but it just gets annoying. I mention how bored i get when they start yapping about their guys, they get on my case about finding the right one. I have one hang out spot in this city, I'm there every weekend so I'm sure I won't be finding my Mr right soon, not that I want to. Anyway the reason for this post. I was talking to my friends a while ago and again the topic about boys came up, as usual I had to tell them to just shut the fudge up!!(there really isn't any nicer way to put it). If it's not setting me up on dates it's annoying me about being more social and finding that one guy. I say why settle for one when I can have ten you know? Nah I'm kidding. I guess I just want them to understand that I am perfectly fine being alone, I lik...

This is going to be one of those rare occasions when I actually get to open up about myself. For the past couple of weeks I have been feeling a bit off, like I was not myself. Now I swear I am not an emotional person, I've only ever had two or three of these unusual moments. I suppress my feelings so much that sometimes I think I'm some robot. I will admit I was never like this but two years ago on this day I shut down, it happened over night. Heartbreak, love, forever, relationships no matter how much it hurt or what I saw my friends going through I was always optimistic. "If it wasn't better it wasn't the end" was my motto. The only reason I kept being so open minded was because of my aunt, more like my second mother really. This woman was one of the strongest women I will ever know as long as I shall live. She loved with all her heart and she lived everyday like it was her last day to live. Two years ago she passed away and I think a part of me died with h...

I have a friend that freaks out at everything. You have to be careful what you do or what you say around her. It's like you're always walking on ice. See the thing with this friend is I let her walk all over me and I really don't know why. I was her go to girl, the one that was always there no matter what, the one that never said no. We used to have our fights but I'm sure we all go through that with our friends. I wouldn't say anything and she would paint me so bad to her friends but then when things go bad with them she'd then come back to me. The funny thing with people like her is that instead of apologizing they paint themselves as the victims. I cared so much about her needs that I ended up neglecting my own needs. My actions taught her how to treat me until I adjusted my behavior. It's great to be the nice guy but when it comes at the expense of your own dignity then you need an injection of backbone. We all have that one person that thinks ...

Random rant, well not really random because this is actually an issue that is making me angry. This thing called media is pretty messed up and the way us as black people seem to be fighting to make our race look bad is maddening. I was just cleaning my room and of course I just had to start thinking. The way black sisters are taking off their clothes now just to sell records. I've never seen Adele taking off her clothes but she's won awards for her work. These musicians have become so desperate that they are losing focus of who they are. Kids look up to people like Beyonce, Rihanna, Ciara e.t.c now don't get me wrong their music is good but the image they portray is just not appropriate especially when they know their music captures the younger audience. I'm not going to make this about race but this just happens, the population of white girls idolize singers like Adele and Taylor Swift and they're clothes are always on. If I was a mother those are the kind of peopl...

I'm pretty sure every girl wants THE WOW factor but what is THE WOW factor? I was catching up with my friend today and boy have I missed her, she's a little ball of fire and I absolutely love her to bits. We were talking about guys, I mean we're girls what else are we supposed to talk about when we're catching up? Back to guys and the WOW factor, I don't really know how to explain it. It's not something you can explain, it's something you feel. We're not hopeless romantics at all, if you see us you'd agree, we just want the WOW factor. I'll try to explain It as best as I can. The WOW factor is that undeniable chemistry that has you wanting to run for the hills but has you paralysed and wanting more at the same time. Believe me we're not into the whole fairy tale type of love or relationships. There is a happily ever after for everyone but we try to keep it realistic. This isn't only about me and her though, it's about all girls, I...