Gone forever but always in my heart.

-
This is going to be one of those rare occasions when I actually get to open up about myself. For the past couple of weeks I have been feeling a bit off, like I was not myself. Now I swear I am not an emotional person, I've only ever had two or three of these unusual moments. I suppress my feelings so much that sometimes I think I'm some robot. I will admit I was never like this but two years ago on this day I shut down, it happened over night. Heartbreak, love, forever, relationships no matter how much it hurt or what I saw my friends going through I was always optimistic. "If it wasn't better it wasn't the end" was my motto. The only reason I kept being so open minded was because of my aunt, more like my second mother really. This woman was one of the strongest women I will ever know as long as I shall live. She loved with all her heart and she lived everyday like it was her last day to live. Two years ago she passed away and I think a part of me died with her. It's hard to explain but I think I've been holding on to her, to the past that I never really got to mourn her properly. These last few weeks I have been self-destructing and it wasn't up until this morning that I realised why and then suddenly it all caught up to me. It was like I woke up for the first time since she passed and it feels good. I will forever be grateful for this amazing woman and I consider myself lucky to have known her, to have been a part of her life.

A letter to my second mother
I like to think I was blessed enough to have had two mothers
Two years ago God decided he wanted another angel in heaven so he took you from us, I never wanted it to happen, I never wanted to accept it but everything happens for a reason.
Days have surely turned into years,
No one will ever know how much I miss you
Your love left a memory no one can ever steal and I will forever cherish those memories with silent tears.
They say "time heals all wounds" I disagree. Time can only conceal the wounds and lessen the pain but it is never gone.
Always on my mind; Forever in my heart
May 24 2011. I miss you always
R.I.P Mama J <3

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Bad boys ain't no good.

-
Image
No truer words have ever been said. I mean there's just something about a bad boy that gets us going. Women are so messed up in the head, well I guess not all women because there's some that go for the good guys, the soft ones, the loyal ones, the ones you know will always be there. Sounds like a dog if you ask me, no offence though. Back to my point sometimes we really know how wrong they are for us, bad is written all over them but it's just too late to leave because we'll already be in too deep. I think we should sue our parents and those kindergarten teachers that used to tell us that when a boy is teasing you or treating you bad it means they like you because fifteen or twenty years later we still have that mentality and it's so wrong but yet it feels so good. A relationship with a bad boy is addictive, it's got an edge to it you know? Those roller coaster rides are too good, when it's high we'll try to hold on to that high for as long as we can bu...
Read more

You ain't about that life!

-
Image
If you ain't about that life then don't sign up for it! You want to be in a relationship and act like you're single? It doesn't work like that! Stop playing with people's feelings. I think people don't realize that breaking someone's heart is way deeper than any of us can ever imagine. You break that person's heart, they end up beating themselves up for what? Being loyal to you when you're the one that couldn't deliver? You mess with their feelings making that heart feel like those feelings are real. You promise someone the world then leave them with nothing? You can't say you're "different" when you're not. What if the heart actually believes you? Don't promise anyone anything if you can't deliver because broken promises lead to disappointments. You destroy their out look on love, ever wonder where trust issues come from? Being played and being made a fool off. Like I said if you ain't about that life then plea...
Read more

Think like a QUEEN, act like a SPARTAN

-
Image
The year 2016 I prophecies that no fuckboy tactics used against you shall prosper. Amen!! Ladies are you happy being practice? Are you going to perfect the art of keeping men warm and preparing them for other women or are you going to Spartan up? Are all them "Netflix & Chill" days over? It's time to stop crying over situationships that you intentionally put yourself in. Because let's face it, a man will not have Netflix and Chill with you unless you approve of it, a man will not put you in any situationship unless you agree to it, a man will not come in and out of your life as he pleases unless you allow it. The year of the blame game is over, it's time we grew a pair of steel balls and took back control of our spartanhood! Sticking around for a guy to finally want to date you or love you will not do you any good. Men can smell desperation and no one like a desperate Debbie. YOU ARE WOMAN DAMMIT!  I'm not going to enforce my feminist ideals on you ...
Read more